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Ersatz High

their angst is entertaining

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ERSATZ HIGH
Their angst is entertaining.


Twenty years ago, it became apparent that the human race was failing at life. In an attempt to stop humanity from evolving into brainless idiots who would quickly exceed the carrying capacity of the planet earth and therefore accidentally destroy themselves, the various governments of the world pooled together their sciences and cloned the best, the brightest, and the most iconic to lead the human species to triumph. Of course, the decision upon whom to clone came under fierce debate, and now their purpose has become more confusing, more twisted.
These cloned individuals, hoped to be the saviour of humanity but probably doomed to be weapons of war, are now in high school. Which sucks, because kids in high school are notoriously idiotic.
Will the students pull through the inherent egotistical viewpoints of their hormonal years, or is humanity doomed? Several times over? Probably doomed. The sun’s going to burn out one of these days anyway, so what’s the point? There isn’t one. It’s pointless. Which brings us to this rpg.


a n o t e
Please to not be joining the comm unless it is with an approved character journal. If you simply wish to watch, then just friend it.

o v e r a l l r u l e s
1. This rpg, inspired by the MTV series Clone High, requires that you actually be funny. This rpg will be a mesh of idiotic slapstick humour as well as actual wit. If you’re not funny, if you can’t tell a joke to save your life or can’t even create a character that can tell a joke to save his or her life, well, don’t even bother. Stupidity is a must - but it has to be careful stupidity. I’m not asking for amazing material here, but I do need players who can create and realise humorous situations. Mel Brooks and Terry Pratchett are the win.
2. Any clones of simple cardboard cut-out famous people will not be accepted. I don’t want freaking Brad Pitt or anything like that, just to make them the Class Slut or whatever. I want icons. Marilyn Monroe? Marilyn Manson? Marilyn Something Else? Go for it. Have a party. When it comes to modern stars… unless you can take your clone of a famous person and really make it shine, then I don’t want it. If you can mock Angelina’s quirky I’ll-wear-my-hubby’s-blood habits or anything like that, then try it. I won’t stop you. But make it good, yeah?
Also, you don’t have to choose lasting Personalities from the Punk period or the sixties or so on - older historical figures are greatly welcomed. Yay for Napoleon and maybe even the Bronte girls.
3. Once you choose your clone, for chrissake, know your famous individual. Don’t make a Hitler clone unless you’ve actually become somewhat well-versed with Hitler’s history, lifestyle, views, etc. You need to know in order to properly mock your clone and everything else. (JFK: I’m a Kennedy! I’m not accustomed to tragedy!)
4. No Jesus. Please. I simply refuse to go there or traverse that area. Jesus doesn’t touch your area, so don’t touch Jesus’ area, you PERVERT.
5. Fill out the application correctly. It’s easy.
6. Put thought into your character. Again, I don’t want a cardboard cut-out ha-ha figure. I want something genuinely funny. Come on. There are too many dramatic rpg’s out there. We need some comic relief.
7. Be nice. Be nice to the other players. Remember, we’re not here to show off our characters and make them untouchable and amazing. We are here to make our characters feel bad, or to make them make other characters feel bad. They’re in high school, remember? Please. Let the froshing and the pantsing begin.
8. I want mature role players. I know that sounds dumb considering the genre of this rpg (haha WHO NEEDS MATURITY?) but, you know, it‘s the truth. If you can’t act like an adult in a situation then you’re not needed. Granted, it’s hard to tell from just an application whether someone is mature or not, but if you turn out to be a whiny little prat after you’re accepted, you’re getting the boot. Kthnxbye.
9. This is largely journal-based, with little role playing in-between.
10. Keep your commitments. If you can’t keep up, then don’t send in your application. This isn’t expected to be a largely time-consuming rpg, though, by the way. So don’t worry too much about it.
11. Again, for the maturity, and by this I mean age-wise. I’m not going to ask for your age, but let it be known that this community is not for the young at heart. Why? Sex jokes are funny and so is swearing. LIVE WITH IT.
12. Go here and watch the clips. Rejoice in the idiocy.
13. Listen to the mods. Dead serious, here. This ties in with mature players/writers. The mods aren’t that stupid and will try not to take sides, but if it’s obvious you’re being a tramp and just playing the anarchist, you’re out. Bye.
In other news, we love you.

p o s t i n g r u l e s
1. The journals for each character are just that - journals. You are to write as if it is your character filling in that journal, and it is expected that no other character can see it, just like a normal sekrit diary. Unless of course the journal is stolen and shown to the student body to your clone’s abject mortification, but abject mortification comes later. Therefore, block comments for every post you make. If you’re unsure, ask a mod or copy everyone else’s example.
2. The main community is for school announcements from the mods, and the scenes that do happen to be role played out. Please place all rp entries under a cut. Saving space, you know.
3. Don’t get inactive. There’s no rule on how much to post during what amount of time, but when you drop behind it’ll be obvious. Don’t cling onto the rpg unless you actually intend to get back in the game.
4. Holy shit! There are only three posting rules so far. Fancy that.

c u r r e n t c l o n e s
Alexander the Great :: stillgreat
Antoinette, Marie :: no_cake
Báthory, Erzsébet (Elizabeth) :: bloody_bathory
Boleyn, Anne :: a_boleyn_girl
Boudica :: burningvictory
Chopin, Fryderyk Franciszek (Frédéric-François) :: freddie_chopin
Churchill, John (Duke of Marlborough) :: periwig_pwnage
Dahmer, Jeffrey :: journal pending
Hitler, Adolf :: journal pending
Marlowe, Christopher :: marlowe_c
Reznor, Trent :: mostlysad
Wellington, the Duke of :: ducal_wellesley
Wilde, Oscar :: wilde_melmoth

Don't know who they are? Look the suckers up.



Now that that’s done, here’s the application! Happy-snappy application filling-out for all.

a p p l i c a t i o n
Name:
LJ Name:
Who are you cloning?:
Tell me about them:
Now tell me about your clone:
What’s your writing experience?:
The Three R’s?:

Application will only be open for a short time and then closed.
Currently you may send in an application from January 25th - February 7th
Please know that we are not actually looking for characters from the inspired show. No matter how awesome Gandhi is.



c o n t a c t
Send all applications, questions, and tasteful porn to
balthazarian @ gmail . com [mari, the nice mod]

For anything else, including distasteful porn, send it to
yellow.orchid @ gmail . com [leigh, the angry comod] please note that angry mod is currently out of order.


d i s c l a i m e r
Clone High is © MTV.
‘Our angst is entertaining’ is from the Clone High opening song. It's changed to 'their', because we're creative.
The people that the clones are of are obviously their own people.
We are not them, nor are we actually their clones.

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